Ok enough is enough NO MORE NUMBERS OR PASSWORDS

If I get one more password I’m gonna PASS OUT. What the heck are we supposed to do, remember all this shit!  I have 4 word document pages, of size 6 fonts, lists of the relevant PASSWORDS to 900,933 sites on the web I am registered with. Way way too many.

Can’t figure out why I need a password for one of my favorite sites “PET QUESTIONS?” does that really need to be protected from folks lurking in the shadows to see that I am looking up “How to keep your dog from raiding the dirty clothes basket and lovingly dragging your smelly socks all over the house?”
Why can’t I get the choice to pick the, I don’t give a shit who sees what I doin’ here, THE NO PASSWROD OPTION, click here.
How in the world do they expect us to keep them all straight, especially if it is some place you rarely go to? I go to Amazon.com once or twice a year, I signed up once 4 years ago so I could have my very own extra special personalized account and now every time I go there it’s USER NAME & PASSWORD. I might get one of ‘em but damn I can’t get both not without that special secret question hint thing.
What was your fathers’ uncles’, third cousins’ mothers’, maiden name? Or this one pisses me off good,
What’s your favorite pets' name? Who the hell are they to put me in a position to have to pick one over the rest, I loved ‘em all.!!
Hum OK, well the 2nd dog I had didn’t shit in the house as much as the 3rd, but that 4th one did chase that cop off my property and that 7th one tried to tell me that my second wife had evil in her heart so don’t let her move in. Now that I think about it I should have listened to ole’ 7, dogs can read people much better than we can.
Don’t those folks remember it’s not nice to show favorites?
It’s got me so I don’t want to sign up for any new sites!!!
I mean it’s great not to have to type in all your ordering info but that requires I remember the key to the kingdom to get into the info vault they have on some server. This security thing adds another whole side of life that makes everything that much harder not to mention complicated.
There are 9 thousand sites out there, in the “new world of music promotion” you have to register your band with, to reach out to millions & millions of people, nice BUT THEY ALL HAVE SEPARATE PASSWORDS. IF I register at only 250 that’s 250 passwords right there. Then they have the unmitigated gall to recommend that you change it every few weeks for safety purposes !!!!!!!!! I thought that was the damn reason for having the password!!!!! So let’s get this straight every few weeks I have to remember 250 new passwords, yeah that’s gonna happen.
I also have passwords for 3 voicemail accounts, 5 banking accounts, 5 ATM card accounts, all my online payment accounts mortgage, gas, electric, blockbuster Etc. see it’s adding up again!! One thing I know the passwords work to keep folks out because I CAN”T LOG IN TO MOST OF THEM and they’re my passwords!!

I can remember when I had to commit a few numbers in my head and that was about it, phone numbers home, current girl friend, a few friends and that was about it. OK maybe a good connections number but that was enough. Life was simple; we all had a little phone book (that thing made of paper) we actually wrote in with a pencil (that wooden thing with lead in it). Through the advent of cellular technology we can talk our asses off all day to 900.933 people the only God Send is auto dial. I am so lost now I don’t even know my home phone number, think it’s speed dial #123. I never actually dial a number any more so there is no way I know anybody’s number. Here’s proof the phone guys know how they screwed our heads up and are laughing,
When my cell phone fires up the first thing I see is “Perry Jordan’s phone and the number is”
See they know we have no idea what our number is, heck soon I’ll be glad they tell me who the hell I am.
Here’s a true story: got in a bit of trouble with an officer of the law one night. He arrested me, took me in and said I could leave if I posted bail. Well before we got to the station they towed my vehicle and in it, was my cell phone, towed far far away to another galaxy. So when the kind officer told me to call someone for bail being in a jovial mood I said no problem, I had many many friends who would gladly come to rescue poor poor Perry.
What I forgot was, as I took the phone they handed me I DID NOT KNOW ANYONE”S PHONE NUMBER, they were all in my cell phones brain not mine. So being in that very jovial mood try as I may, guess as I may, I couldn’t reach one damn person. These guys gave me many, many tries but no success. At 5 AM just before they were gonna transfer ole’ Perry to Cook County Jail, a very, very ugly dangerous place, I begged my best beg for an I-Bond because I saw myself sitting in that very dangerous ugly place NOT BEING ABLE TO CALL ANYONE AND LET THEM KNOW I WAS THERE !!!! TWILIGHT ZONE could have been weeks if ever, someone found me. By the kindness of his heart the arresting officer gave me the I-Bound and dropped me just off the expressway, in the cold & rain, in my jovial mood and said good luck. Well I had $6.50 in my pocket (spent all the rest on creating my jovial mood) and soon spent it all in a pay phone guessing at numbers trying get someone to pick me up. To make the ending shorter I wound up walking about 8 miles in my jovial mood, through the cold rain to my bass players house where I sat on his steps in the rain waiting for him to get up to drive me home. ALL BECAUSE WE HAVE TO MANY NUMBERS TO REMEMBER SO I REMEMBERED NONE!!! More on numbers later.
Well that was another rant of insanity; it warms my heart to get so many e-mails from folks saying they relate to many of these voyages to the outer reaches of my twisted head. Seems maybe modern life, new changes coming in waves, Political correctness etc. is having an effect on many of us but there is strength in numbers my friends so we are there for each other. Til next soapbox, KEEP ON SMILIN’.